Marriage in the Light of the Quran: From Mushrik-Based Unions to Faith-Based Relationships

The Quran, the primary source of Islam, aims to guide humanity in both individual and social life. However, throughout history, an understanding shaped by hadith literature and traditional madhab interpretations — rather than the essence of the Quran — has caused deep problems, particularly in male-female relationships and the institution of marriage. The Foundation of Marriage in the Quran: Love, Compassion, and the Pleasure of Allah The Quran defines marriage not merely as a social contract or a means of meeting needs, but as a sign (ayah) of Allah. This truth is clearly expressed in Surah Ar-Rum, verse 21: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." This verse clearly lays out the fundamental elements of marriage. Marriage is a divine arrangement created so that spouses may find peace in one another, with love and compassion between them. The concept of "tranquility" mentioned here shows that marriage is a source of spiritual peace. Spouses complement each other's shortcomings, support one another, and through this union come to understand the wisdom of Allah's creation. Yet today, both in Islamic societies and in the Western world, marriages are largely established outside these core principles. Self-interest, economic expectations, social pressures, and superficial attraction form the basis of marriages, while love and compassion are pushed to the background. This inevitably leads to conflict, unhappiness, and ultimately divorce. The Position of Women in Traditional Understanding and the Distortion of Marriage In Muslim-majority countries, the social position of women has unfortunately been shaped more by hadith literature and madhab interpretations than by the Quran. Throughout history, these interpretations have defined women as deficient in intellect and religion, and as figures who lead men astray. Practices such as prohibiting women from worship during menstruation, counting their testimony as half, excluding them from public life, and depriving them of the right to education are all products of this distorted understanding. This traditional patriarchal view regards women within marriage as servants, childcare providers, or merely instruments for satisfying sexual needs. Women, lacking economic freedom, have been forced to live lives dependent on men for survival. This has turned the relationship between spouses into nothing more than a transactional arrangement and made it impossible to build a love-based partnership. In the Quran, however, women and men are defined as equal individuals. Both are servants of Allah and both carry the same responsibilities. Surah An-Nisa, verse 117 states: "They call upon instead of Him none but females, and they call upon none but a rebellious Satan." This verse criticizes the tendency during the pre-Islamic period and beyond to idolize women. A woman is neither a being to be worshipped nor a creature to be degraded. Like a man, she is a servant of Allah, and in this regard there is no difference between the two. Mushrik-Based Marriages: The Crisis of Contemporary Society Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 221 makes clear what the foundation of marriage must be: "And do not marry mushrik women until they believe. And a believing servant woman is better than a mushrik woman, even though she might please you. And do not marry mushrik men until they believe. And a believing servant man is better than a mushrik, even though he might please you. Those invite to the Fire, and Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember." Understanding the term "mushrik" in this verse as referring only to idol-worshippers is insufficient. Shirk means placing anything other than Allah at the center of one's life. Anyone who places worldly values — wealth, property, status, fame, sexuality — above the pleasure of Allah falls under this definition. In modern society, most marriages are built on exactly this foundation of shirk. Men expect service, sexual gratification, and childcare from women; women expect economic security, social status, and material comfort from men. Both parties view the relationship as a transaction, and each develops expectations in return for the "services" they provide to the other. In such marriages, love and compassion cannot flourish. Because the foundation of the relationship is self-interest. A woman submits out of compulsion to a man she can only endure because she lacks economic freedom. A man believes he possesses a woman whom he views as a being that serves him and meets his needs. Women's Liberation and the Rise in Divorce Rates In Western societies, women gaining economic independence has brought about a great transformation in the institution of marriage. Women who are no longer compelled to depend on men for their livelihood do not wish to live with men who demean them, show them no love, or fail to respect them. This has caused a dramatic rise in divorce rates. A similar process is taking place in societies such as Turkey, which are trying to shed their traditional structures. As women take their place in education and professional life and gain economic independence, they have begun to resist marriages based on self-interest and disrespect. While this development is positive in terms of women's liberation, it is also leading to the weakening of the family institution and social fragmentation. However, it is wrong to view this situation solely as a consequence of women's liberation. The real problem is that marriages were never built on healthy foundations to begin with. These problems were invisible because women were oppressed and silenced. As women are liberated, problems that already existed are being brought to light. A Critique of the Traditional Male Mindset Men raised on traditional Islamic interpretations find it difficult to develop a respectful and loving attitude toward women. Narrations in hadith literature that define women through "deficiency in intellect and religion," interpretations that say women's testimony should count as half, and narratives claiming women have a ruinous influence over men — all of these create a negative perception of women in the minds of men. A man raised with such an understanding does not see his wife as an equal individual, but as a being who exists to serve him. In an environment devoid of love and compassion, a woman is forced out of necessity to submit to her husband. This situation provides a healthy living environment for neither the woman, nor the man, nor the family that is formed. In the Quran, however, no such definition of woman exists. Woman and man are created from the same soul. Both are sent to the world as vicegerents (khalifah). Both carry the same responsibilities and await the same recompense in the afterlife. Gender is merely a biological difference, and this difference is not a cause of superiority before Allah. Building a Faith-Based Marriage The model of marriage proposed by the Quran is founded on faith. As clearly stated in Al-Baqarah verse 221, marrying a person of faith is better than marrying a mushrik who may be more materially attractive. Because a marriage without unity of belief inevitably leads to conflicts of values. A faith-based marriage rests on the following principles: Priority of Allah's Pleasure: Marriage is established not for worldly interests, but to earn the pleasure of Allah and to follow His commands together. Both spouses love each other for the sake of Allah and serve one another for the sake of Allah's pleasure. Equality and Respect: Women and men are recognized as equal individuals. Both complement each other's shortcomings and support one another with their strengths. Neither is the other's servant or master. Love and Compassion: As stated in Ar-Rum verse 21, love and compassion between spouses is a sign of Allah. These feelings must be cultivated, protected, and strengthened. Mutual Responsibility: Both spouses bear responsibility for the healthy functioning of the marriage. The man is not solely responsible for finances, nor is the woman solely responsible for housework. Both share each other's burdens. Spiritual Companionship: Marriage is not merely a worldly union but also a spiritual journey. Spouses serve as means for each other to draw closer to Allah. What Must Be Done for Social Transformation Returning to the Quran's Islam is essential in order to prevent societal disintegration and to build healthy marriages. This transformation requires the following steps: Purification from Superstitions: All superstitions originating from hadith literature and traditional madhab interpretations that contradict the Quran must be abandoned. The sufficiency of the Quran must be accepted and the Quran taken as the sole source of Islam. Elevating the Social Position of Women: Women must be granted full freedom in education, work, and participation in social life. Gender equality must be implemented not only in rhetoric but also in practice. Elimination of Gender Discrimination: All traditional practices that discriminate between women and men in matters such as worship, education, work, and testimony must be abandoned. Marriage Education: Young people must be educated before marriage in the Quranic understanding of marriage. It must be conveyed that marriage is not a transactional relationship but a spiritual union. Economic Justice: Women's economic freedom is essential for them to attain an equal position within marriage. However, this freedom must be used not to weaken the family institution, but to place marriage on healthier foundations. At the root of the problems within the institution of marriage lies the fact that worldly interests, rather than the pleasure of Allah, occupy its center. This has brought about the degradation of women and the reduction of marriages to purely economic relationships. Rising divorce rates in both Islamic societies and the Western world are the clearest indication that marriage is not resting on healthy foundations. The guidance of the Quran aims for a society in which women and men are equal, love and compassion are paramount, and the pleasure of Allah is placed at the center. Reaching this goal requires breaking free from traditional and superstition-laden understandings, accepting the sufficiency of the Quran, and returning to the essence of Islam. An understanding of Islam in which Allah is loved, in which spouses love one another for the sake of Allah, and in which individuals see each other as equals without gender discrimination — that is, Islam as found in the Quran — must urgently be conveyed to society. Only through such a transformation can the family institution be strengthened, society placed on healthy foundations, and humanity find peace both in this world and in the hereafter. The principles the Quran set forth 1,400 years ago remain valid today. The problem is not in the Quran — it is in our having drifted away from the Quran. And the path to salvation lies in returning to it.